Getting Back to What I love

I've been a bit down lately. Living with cancer is a constant roller coaster ride of emotions. I decided what I needed was a good photo session with my favorite subject to photograph...My daughter...There will be more to come with this series as I get done editing them. I've edited these to look rather artsy. Almost a painted look.

Raw Tabouli

I tried a new recipe tonight. MMMMmmmmMMMMM it was so good. I never would have guessed eating a raw foods diet could be so good. So far so good. Tonight I made Raw Tabouli. I kind of mixed a couple recipe ideas for this. I used...

A bunch of fresh chopped cilantro

A bunch of fresh chopped parsley

A bunch of chopped scallions

4 tomatoes chopped

2 avocado chopped

1 tablespoon tahini (this would be fine to leave out)

the juice of 1 whole lemon

1 tablespoon olive oil

2 tablespoons honey

1 teaspoon sea salt

Just mixed it all together. I looked at it for a while trying to bring myself to try it. I had never eaten avocado before and parsley to me was a garnish you put on the side of a plate or added as dried flakes to a meal. Cilantro to me was a dried spice not something you eat fresh from the garden in a bunch. So, I ended up wrapping it up in a bowl and placing it in the refridgerator while I made the kids some pasta and raw veggies. I knew they were not ready to be pushed into eating Tabouli yet. So they ate their pasta and veggies and I went back to the fridge and took the bowl back out. I got myself a fork and dug in.

WOW! Now THAT is flavor! It was delicious. I am learning to get over my fears of trying new foods and recipes. I followed my son's example and took a picture of my dinner. :)

My Life Flashed Before my Eyes Today

What made my life flash before my eyes today? Did it have to do with me having non-hodgkins follicular lymphoma? No.
My 17 year old son, who has his driver's permit took me for a drive for the first time today. He has had his permit for a couple of months but today was the first time I brought myself to drive with him. My husband has taken him out many times but today was my first.
It is a strange feeling having your child drive you for the first time. Im not sure who was more nervous, him or me. When we got into the car, Jacob said to me, "Mom, now don't freak out or anything."
He knows me so well. But not well enough...as he was pulling out of the driveway I couldn't help myself. I screamed "AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" He slammed on the breaks and looked at me with an expression of panic. I turned to him and said, " You mean don't freak out like that?"
BAHAHAHAHA he didn't think it was as funny as I did.
Seriously though, he did well and my life didn't really flash before my eyes but I thought it would make a dramatic title for this post. :)

Change of Plans

Today I was supposed to go for my first Rituxan maintnance infusion. I have changed my mind and decided to "watch and wait". It is so hard to know what the right course of treatment is. For now I feel at peace with this decision. I will go to my oncologist every three months and get scanned at 6 months to check on tumor growth. Hopefully there wont be any new tumor growth at my next scan.
As I mentioned in my last post...I have changed my way of eating. There are a lot of testimonies out there about a raw foods diet possibly helping to reverse cancer in a person. I figure, even if it doesn't help reverse the cancer at least I will be eating healthier and lose some weight and my kids will be healthier too.
My daughter seems to have been a natural born vegetarian as she has never been much of a fan of meat. At 12 months old she would munch on a leaf of lettuce but had no interest in a piece of chicken nugget. So this change is no big deal to her since she pretty much has been a vegetarian for her 5 years of life already by natural choice.
My boys on the other hand are still adjusting...

Becoming a Health Food Junkie

Soooooo, I have decided to change my way of eating. Not just my way of eating but my whole family's. We have gone vegetarian. We have cut out meats from our diet and I will slowly be changing over to a mostly all raw foods diet.
It has been 1 week and my kids are still alive and not only that, I made a meal tonight that all of them liked except one. 5 out of 6 is not bad at all. It was called black bean pie and I think it will become one of our regular transition meals.
My oldest son, age 17, is not thrilled with this change to a vegeatarian diet. I was snooping through his cell phone pictures and found that he has taken a picture of each dinner to show his friends what I am making him eat. What I am torturing him with. Hehe Last night was apricot lentil soup and I have to admit the picture looks like vomit. lol
I am juicing carrot apple juice every day and drinking it. I about gagged when I smelled it under my nose when I took my first sip. Keep in mind that I have never liked carrots, raw or cooked. But once I got over the smell I was very surprised at how tasty it is.
I have found out that I like lettuce and tomato sandwiches on flaxseed bread. I have found out that I can eat bean sprouts in my salad and not think about eating grass. My goal is to eventually be eating a completely organic. vegan, raw foods diet.
I had a short period a few years ago where I went to a vegetarian diet. I enojyed it but slowly fell off the vegetarian cart. I have a whole new inspiration now, healing for me and preventing cancer in my own children.
Yes, I am now one of "THOSE" people. A health food nut.

Firsts

My kids started back to school on Thursday. One had his first day in middle school. I was so nervous for him but he did great and so did all my kids. My baby had her first day of kindergarten. She also lost her first tooth last week. My baby is growing up!

Half packed and no where to go

Today is the third Wednesday...we were supposed to have settlement on our house and on the new house. We found out a few days before settlement that our buyer was denied his mortgage. I had half the house packed up, I had transferred the children to start the new school year at the new school. 4 days before school is to start up I had to transfer them back to this school system. I refuse to unpack the boxes. So our house is back on the market.
There is some good news though. My recent scan showed that the tumors were reduced by about 50%. I have decided to pull out of the clinical trial and do maintenance infusions every 3 months, out of the trial. I go for my next infusion 2 Wednesdays from today.
So I am dealing with the disappointment of another contract to sell our house falling through while trying to be happy that there has been a reduction in tumor size in my lymph system. The news that there has been a reduction in the follicular lymphoma is good news but there will always be the fact that the cancer is still there looming over my head. That is something I just have to learn to live with.