I went for my check up with the Oncologist this week. Good news to report. The scan showed that the cancer has not spread at all. There has been minor changes but nothing of significance. Nothing that would indicate that the lymphoma has progressed.
My blood tests came back good also. I just need to continue with iron and B-12 supplements twice a day.
I have graduated to getting a scan in 6 months instead of 3 months, which is very good in the light of a recent study that shows that multiple ct scans can cause cancer. That put people with lymphoma in a bind since we very often rely on scans for tracking the cancer and if it is spreading or growing. I can not worry about that however, I am just glad that I have 6 months before my next scan and I have until March before I need to set foot back at the cancer center. As long nothing changes ofcourse.
Thank you for all the support and encouraging words from all of you. Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers. It is very much appreciated!
Friday, November 30, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Scanxiety
I have been a bad blogger lately. I have been a bit depressed and stressed out worrying about the scan that I had upcoming to check on the cancer. I learned there is a made-up term that lymphoma patients used for the anxiety that we have before scans to check on the progress or lack of progress of the lymphoma. They call it "scanxiety".
It has been 3 months since my last scan. I went yesterday for the scan and for about 2 weeks leading up to the scan I was (and still am) quite the stressed out mess. So yesterday, 2 hours before my scan time I needed to drink a bottle of barium. A note to anyone who has never had barium scans, if you ever do...make sure you chill the barium and drink it cold. When it is warm it is enough to make the strongest stomach turn. Chilled, it is managable for me.
My Oncologist is an hour drive from my house. When I left for Delaware yesterday morning it was very very foggy, drizzly and just dreary. Driving over the Delaware Memorial Bridge I could not see anything off the side of the bridge and maybe only 20 feet in front of me. I was extremely stressed about the scan and felt like I was driving to my death with all the mist around me. My overly dramatic mind takes me to these places once in a while.
I was almost in tears when the radio station I was listening to went completely static. So I hit the button to just go to the next station. What could possibly be the perfect song that I needed to hear at that time? "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor. It completely picked up my spirits. It is amazing how music can do that.
So tomorrow I will find out the results and hopefully I will have good news to report.
On a side note, thank you to all the people who have either emailed or called me asking if I was okay because I hadn't posted to the blog. It warmed my heart that so many people in the past few days have contacted me saying they missed me posting to the blog and were worried about me. I am going to try to keep to posting regularly again.
(((hugs to all)))
It has been 3 months since my last scan. I went yesterday for the scan and for about 2 weeks leading up to the scan I was (and still am) quite the stressed out mess. So yesterday, 2 hours before my scan time I needed to drink a bottle of barium. A note to anyone who has never had barium scans, if you ever do...make sure you chill the barium and drink it cold. When it is warm it is enough to make the strongest stomach turn. Chilled, it is managable for me.
My Oncologist is an hour drive from my house. When I left for Delaware yesterday morning it was very very foggy, drizzly and just dreary. Driving over the Delaware Memorial Bridge I could not see anything off the side of the bridge and maybe only 20 feet in front of me. I was extremely stressed about the scan and felt like I was driving to my death with all the mist around me. My overly dramatic mind takes me to these places once in a while.
I was almost in tears when the radio station I was listening to went completely static. So I hit the button to just go to the next station. What could possibly be the perfect song that I needed to hear at that time? "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor. It completely picked up my spirits. It is amazing how music can do that.
So tomorrow I will find out the results and hopefully I will have good news to report.
On a side note, thank you to all the people who have either emailed or called me asking if I was okay because I hadn't posted to the blog. It warmed my heart that so many people in the past few days have contacted me saying they missed me posting to the blog and were worried about me. I am going to try to keep to posting regularly again.
(((hugs to all)))
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Saturday, November 3, 2007
No Stealing My Minutes
The other week I was at a little girl's birthday party from my daughter's class. While there, visiting with a couple of the other mothers, one mother tells me about the Red Box rentals at the local Acme store. The Red Box has new release DVDs for rent for just $1.00
The next time I was at Acme I saw the box and decided to try it out. So, I rented a movie for 1 dollar. It had to be back in 24 hours. We watched the movie that night and I went to take it back the next day. I had just done food shopping the day before when I rented the DVD so I was just dropping it off. As I was walking in the store a woman and a child were walking in front of me. They went right to the Red Box and started looking through the selection of DVDs.
I waited behind them. After about 10 minutes, they had gone through all the selection of DVDs and couldn't decide what to rent and hit the button to start all over again. I politely asked if she would mind if I just dropped the DVD off real quick since they were starting over. (It only takes a second to drop the DVD off but you can not do it while someone else is using it)
The woman became very irate and told me how rude it was for me to ask that. I was so taken aback. I said I was sorry and that I thought it would just take a second and was only asking if she minded. Obviously she did mind so I would wait.
She turned to me, apparently annoyed that I was still standing there waiting to drop off the DVD and yelled at me to go shopping while they finished choosing what they wanted to rent.
Flabbergasted, I said, "Wow, ok...have a nice day" and I walked away. I didn't need to do any shopping, I was only there to drop off my DVD but I didn't need to be yelled at either so I walked around the store and just watched to see when she left.
After I saw she had left, I dropped off the DVD which literally took 2 seconds. On my drive home I was steaming over how the woman treated me. Had I known asking if I could drop off the DVD would have gotten such an angry reaction from her I never would have asked. I kept replaying over and over in my head, getting more and more angry over how she acted.
Then I realized what I was doing...I was letting this bad experience steal my joy, steal my minutes of my life. I decided I need to have a talk with myself. Now, I am not a person who talks outloud to herself all the time but this was a time I needed to.
I said, "Jane, this is not what life is about. DO not let this woman and how she treated you ruin your day. Do not let it steal another minute of your life. Do not allow yourself to go home to your family in a bad mood because of this. You have Follicular Lymphoma, a cancer with no cure. You do not know how many minutes you have left. Do not let those minutes be wasted being angry. You should have just waited patiently and not have even asked to pop the dvd in. Enjoy your minutes, don't let them be stolen away."
I went home and hugged my family. This was the first and only moment that I became grateful for what cancer has shown me. Had I not known that I have Lymphoma, I may not have taken the time to think about how I was letting time be wasted by my dwelling on a bad encounter with someone.
So for that... Cancer, I thank you...
I thank you for that lesson learned.
The next time I was at Acme I saw the box and decided to try it out. So, I rented a movie for 1 dollar. It had to be back in 24 hours. We watched the movie that night and I went to take it back the next day. I had just done food shopping the day before when I rented the DVD so I was just dropping it off. As I was walking in the store a woman and a child were walking in front of me. They went right to the Red Box and started looking through the selection of DVDs.
I waited behind them. After about 10 minutes, they had gone through all the selection of DVDs and couldn't decide what to rent and hit the button to start all over again. I politely asked if she would mind if I just dropped the DVD off real quick since they were starting over. (It only takes a second to drop the DVD off but you can not do it while someone else is using it)
The woman became very irate and told me how rude it was for me to ask that. I was so taken aback. I said I was sorry and that I thought it would just take a second and was only asking if she minded. Obviously she did mind so I would wait.
She turned to me, apparently annoyed that I was still standing there waiting to drop off the DVD and yelled at me to go shopping while they finished choosing what they wanted to rent.
Flabbergasted, I said, "Wow, ok...have a nice day" and I walked away. I didn't need to do any shopping, I was only there to drop off my DVD but I didn't need to be yelled at either so I walked around the store and just watched to see when she left.
After I saw she had left, I dropped off the DVD which literally took 2 seconds. On my drive home I was steaming over how the woman treated me. Had I known asking if I could drop off the DVD would have gotten such an angry reaction from her I never would have asked. I kept replaying over and over in my head, getting more and more angry over how she acted.
Then I realized what I was doing...I was letting this bad experience steal my joy, steal my minutes of my life. I decided I need to have a talk with myself. Now, I am not a person who talks outloud to herself all the time but this was a time I needed to.
I said, "Jane, this is not what life is about. DO not let this woman and how she treated you ruin your day. Do not let it steal another minute of your life. Do not allow yourself to go home to your family in a bad mood because of this. You have Follicular Lymphoma, a cancer with no cure. You do not know how many minutes you have left. Do not let those minutes be wasted being angry. You should have just waited patiently and not have even asked to pop the dvd in. Enjoy your minutes, don't let them be stolen away."
I went home and hugged my family. This was the first and only moment that I became grateful for what cancer has shown me. Had I not known that I have Lymphoma, I may not have taken the time to think about how I was letting time be wasted by my dwelling on a bad encounter with someone.
So for that... Cancer, I thank you...
I thank you for that lesson learned.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Jane's Vegetarian Chili
The week I needed to make dinner and didn't have a lot in the house to work with. I did have some cans of beans, 4 ounces of Monteray Jack Cheese, an onion, a green pepper and a jar of medium taco sauce.
So I mixed it all together and made chili. WOW, it turned out delicious. It was a little too spicey for me but perfect for my husband. I had some non-fat plain yogurt in the fridge. I added that to mine and it made it just right for me.
I made it again last night and we loved it just as much.
1 can of kidney beans
1 can black beans
1 can pinto beans
1 green pepper chopped
1 onion chopped
1 jar of taco sauce
4 oz. monteray jack cheese, diced up or grated
1/4 cup non-fat plain yogurt (optional)
I put the beans in a pot with the taco sauce and had that heating up on medium heat. chop the onion and green pepper. Add the onion and pepper. While that is cooking dice or grate the cheese. After the onions and peppers have cooked in the beans for a little while, add the cheese and stir until the cheese is melted.
Scoop into bowls and drop yogurt on top if desired. Enjoy!
So I mixed it all together and made chili. WOW, it turned out delicious. It was a little too spicey for me but perfect for my husband. I had some non-fat plain yogurt in the fridge. I added that to mine and it made it just right for me.
I made it again last night and we loved it just as much.
1 can of kidney beans
1 can black beans
1 can pinto beans
1 green pepper chopped
1 onion chopped
1 jar of taco sauce
4 oz. monteray jack cheese, diced up or grated
1/4 cup non-fat plain yogurt (optional)
I put the beans in a pot with the taco sauce and had that heating up on medium heat. chop the onion and green pepper. Add the onion and pepper. While that is cooking dice or grate the cheese. After the onions and peppers have cooked in the beans for a little while, add the cheese and stir until the cheese is melted.
Scoop into bowls and drop yogurt on top if desired. Enjoy!
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