Updates

I have finished the 4 rounds of Immunotherapy. Now I have 8 weeks to wait until scans are done again to see how the Lymphoma reacted to it.

We were ready to take our house off the market, after 1 year and 1 failed contract when we got another offer. We came to an agreement on price so hopefully this one will work out. If all goes well we will be moving in August. Cross your fingers that this goes smoothly! I don't think I can handle much more stress in my life right now.

Since I have taken last June and July off from doing any paid photography sessions I have been torturing my daughter with being my model. Here are a few I did outside the other day.

Praying Mantis

I have a huge bug-fobia. Certain insects can put me in a panic attack, such as the evil cricket :::shudders:: But for some reason, the praying mantis is one of a very select few that does not creep me out. Maybe because I rarely see one? Maybe because, as a child, I was always told they were illegal to kill. Maybe because of the word "praying" in it's name. Maybe because I know they eat yuckier bugs. Maybe a mixture of all thoise reasons. When I do see one, I just have to stop and take a good look at it. The one I came across the other day, stayed very still for me and even seemed to look at me, just waiting for me to take her picture. She was a little one, a baby I assume.

The name Praying Mantis as I understand it means "praying" because of it looking like it is praying and "mantis" which means prophet. It seemed suiting that I find a baby praying mantis as I now have so many people that are praying for me. People I dont even know, people who I know from the internet, people I know in my every day life, people my friends and family who have asked to pray for me, ect... My battle with cancer has only just begun, just in it's infancy, like the praying mantis I found. Mantis, a prophet, telling me that people are praying for me in the beginning of this battle maybe?

It meant something extra this time that I was able to meet a praying mantis. It has been a couple of years since I have seen one and yes, I just had to take her picture.

Anxiety

This is the night before my last infusion of my 4 week treatment with Rituxan. Each night before the infusion I have trouble sleeping and feel a lot of anxiety. I can't imagine the anxiety I will be feeling after I wait 8 weeks, get scans and am about to go back to the Oncologist to find out what if any effect the Rituxan has had on my Lymphoma.

Oncology nurses are some of the most amazing people. What a emotionally draining job that must be for them. As I sit hooked up to IV recieving my infusion, I often hear the nurses gently talking to patients who have so many questions and fears. Often they are afraid of treatment and the nurses are encouraging. Then you have the cancer patients, usually those who have been through this a while, that take it all in stride with such possitive attitudes. Im sure they have their bad days, their ups and downs, like everyone else. But you can see the interaction between them and the nurses, the joking and light-hearted conversations, those patients put pep in the step of the onc nurses. They brighten their day.

So kudos to those onc nurses and kudos to the possitive bright patients and kudos to those patients who are struggling but are brave enough to face their cancer, it is easier to live in denial then to face it and fight it.

I have no photos specifically for today so I'm just going to share a picture of Joker, our cat, because he makes me smile.

Tire Swing

Summer days...playing in the sun

twirling on a tire swing...

exploring...

oh, to be a child again...to live carefree...

enjoy every moment, capture all you can.

Showtime

I'm so proud of my gymnastics students this year. They all did wonderful in this year's end of year expo. Many of the girls I have had this year are very special to me. Some because I have coached them for 3 years and this will be my last year being their coach. They are growing up and moving up to higher classes. Im so proud of them and yet will miss them so much. I am taking the summer off from coaching while I am in treatment for cancer. One of the girls I have coached over the past couple years had a battle with cancer. She has been cancer free for the past year and it is amazing the changes I have seen in her. She has a special place in my heart.

Magna Doodle fun

As I was resting in bed, my daughter sat with me and played with her Magna Doodle. It is so neat to see such concentration on her face while drawing with that, tracing her hands and feet. How precious these small passing moments can be. I'm glad I had my camera by my bed to capture it.

Bone Marrow Biopsy Results

CLEAN! My bone marrow biopsy came back clean, no cancer in my bone marrow. Huge relief! My PET scan also showed no other tumors in my body.
I am feeling good today, a little tired but not feeling fatigued like I have been.
The enlarged lymph nodes that I could feel before have gotten quite a bit smaller so I believe the Rituxan is working well in my body, killing off the B-cells. On average the lymph nodes feel about half the size that they were 2 weeks ago and not just one or two nodes shrinking but all of the ones that I could feel myself are.
I am believing I will get fabulous results from these treatments. I wont have another scan to check result for 11 more weeks but I can tell, it is working.

Good News - Bad News again

Good News - I made it through my first Immunotherapy infusion.
Bad News - I was so sick during it I was not able to photo document any of it.
Good News - I don't have another infusion for 3 days.
Bad News - The buyers for our house fell through. So our house hits the market again starting tomorrow.

The Immunotherpy I am receiving is called Rituxan. I have joined a clinical trial. 3 more weeks of infusions and then I will have 8 weeks off.

Bone Marrow Biopsy

Don't believe them when the doctor tells you that a bone marrow biopsy wont be painful, that you will only feel a lot of pressure. HA! Not quite! Man oh man, did that hurt! I hope I never need to get another one again.
While I was there in the exam room waiting for the oncologist to come in, I hear a ringing noise. It sounded like cell phone ring. I knew it was not my phone, not my ring. I'm looking around for where this ringing is coming from. It sounded like it was coming from the trash can next to my chair. The ringing then stopped. I sat there, wondering to myself, "Did I imagine that? Is the tension waiting for this bone marrow biopsy making me hear things? Is the anxiety making me go crazy?"
So I tried looking in the trash but it was a pretty full can of doctor exam room stuff. Paper from the exam table and such. Not really what I want to stick my hand into. So, looking around, I see the box of rubber gloves and think about putting one on my hand and rooting through the trash for the cell phone. But then the thought of the doctor walking in the room while I am elbow into his trashcan with a rubber exam glove on my hand, well...that wasn't really a vision I wanted to come true.
So I chose to believe I imagined the ringing but inside Im giggling at myself, only me...sitting waiting for a bone marrow biopsy would constantly be looking at the trash can, consumed with the idea that there was cell phone in it.
In comes the oncologist, nurse practioner and resident. Do I mention it to them? "No, I would sound crazy, pretend you didn't hear anything." So they start the biopsy. As I lay there on my side, clenching the edge of the exam table about to pass out...Im drifting, I hear the doc asking me if I am okay and I hear myself gasp out a quiet "yes". The room starts spinning as Im realing from the pain and then I hear it...bliiiiiiIIIIiiiinnng....bliiiiiIIIIIiiiiinnng....THERE it is again! but am I losing it? It is real?
I hear the nurse say,"That's not mine." Doc says, "Not mine either, must be the patient's phone."
"YES! I'm not crazy!" I exclaimed in my head but I could not speak yet. They finish the procedure and I sit back up and I said, "This is probably going to sound crazy but the phone that was ringing, I think is in the trash can."
"It wasn't your phone?"
"No" I responded
They look over and said, "Oh it is sitting right on the chair" I turn and look, sure enough, there is the little cell phone on the chair I had been sitting in while waiting for the doc to come in.
So, I was wrong, there wasn't a cell phone in the trash can but there was a cell phone ringing...under my butt. ::Sigh:: it is sad when your butt is so big that you don't feel yourself sitting on a cell phone. Thank goodness they didn't have the phone on vibrate. That would have REALLY freaked me out.
Eh, at least I had a funny story to tell about my bone marrow biopsy experience.