Life has no pause button

It is 3:30 am, I have not fallen asleep tonight. After work today I took a nap at about 3 in the afternoon and slept until 6:00. I should have made myself stay up so I would have slept well tonight. I just come home from work so fatigued, I can barely keep my eyes open.
I wish there was a pause button for life. Like the play, Stop the World, I Want to Get Off...but just for a moment. Give me a breather to take it all in. No such luck.
It is strange, I feel like I need a pause and yet it feels almost like life stopped when I found out I have cancer but all the world kept going. I feel like I need a pause button, yet it is as if my life has been paused. And still yet, life is going on all around me. It is a very wild experience, like I've never felt before.
SO many things going through my mind. I am trying very hard to stay possitive in my thinking. In the past two days, two different people have shared stories with me about their family members who have had Lymphoma. Both of them are in remission now. That is so encouraging to hear! I am believing I will have just as good of a success story to tell.

Good News and Bad

Good News - We have contracts signed to sell our house and purchase another one.
Bad News - I found that I do have cancer. Specifically Follicular Lymphoma Grade 1, stage 3 possibly 4.
Good News - I love the house we are going to move to.
Bad News - I will probably be in treatment for the cancer when we are moving.

Busy

Life has been very stressful lately. I've been busy but not at doing what I love. I have been taking many different trips to different doctors and different tests. I will be having a biopsy done of my lymphnodes. I go to the surgeon for a consult for the biopsy this week and I go for a full body ct scan this week. After the biopsy is done I will be going back to the Oncologist. Life changes, the way you look at life changes when you hear from your doctor that you might have cancer. Living in limbo, not knowing if you have cancer in your body for a couple weeks while all the tests are done is very difficult. Day by day is all I can do.

Things are looking up on the sale of our house. We have two serious lookers in the past week that have come for a second look. Hopefully we will get offers from both of them and can choose the better option.

With the struggles I've been going through lately I thought I would post a couple cute pictures just for smiles. These are my sister-in-law's two maltese puppies. They are brother and sister from the same litter. They aren't really puppies anymore but I think we will always refer to them as puppies. :) Here is Selah Rose and Oscar Maddison.